SUNDAY REFLECTION

Today was a wonderful day at church.  We had ward conference and I loved hearing from the Bishop and Stake Presidency.  Our ward is just awesome too, so I always end up feeling spiritually fed.  Church at 9:30 is usually hard for me, but I've noticed that I never ever regret waking up early to get ready.  Even with less sleep and less food in my tummy, it's always worth going to church (oh and thanks to Spencer for actually waking me up haha).

The topics from church reminded me of a journal entry I wrote a few days ago.  I read a commencement address given by Richard G. Scott called "Living A Life Of Peace, Joy, and Purpose."  The summary of his talk goes something like this:

To Succeed in Life:

 Establish principles to guide your life

 Don't make exceptions to your standards

Be loyal

 Live so that the Lord can guide you

 Serve others

Smile :)

Don't complain

Always have a church assignment (not necessarily a calling)

Worship in the temple

Follow the Savior's example

I then wrote the following in my journal:  "I'm grateful I read this tonight. It is just what I needed to hear.  I need to act more quickly on thoughts and impressions.  I feel that I am compromising my standards when I don't pay attention to when the Lord is talking to me.  Decide what my principles are and stick to them!  It is not too late to strengthen my faith, and resolve to do good and be good."

What do I want to become?

I've been pondering about this talk a lot lately.  I feel like when I start to have children, I need to be in a better place spiritually.  I need this not just for my children, but for myself and my own personal conversion.  I want to raise a righteous family.  More than anything, I want a happy family life.  I want to strengthen my relationship with Christ because I know that will bring me true peace and happiness.  I know that it's never too late to be who I want to be.  I want my children to recognize me as a faithful mother and wife.  I hope Heavenly Father recognizes me as the same.

LIVE OUT LOUD

Yep.  This is what the end of the day usually looks like for an art major. Thank goodness for pencils (oh yes, they are not just for drawing), hands covered in phthalo blue, and a paint-stained sink.  How can I live this messy?  Well actually, it's pretty easy..... because I LOVE IT.  I absolutely love making art. 

"If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: 

I am here to live out loud." 

  ―Emile Zola

"BE OF GOOD COURAGE, THE LORD WITH STRENGTHEN THY HEART"

Last night was a typical Friday night.  After classes and homework and cleaning the apartment, we decided to get some pizza and make Italian sodas for date night.  We already had some ingredients that needed to be used for the sodas so it was perfect!  After our healthy, yummy dinner, we watched Runaway Bride (yeah that was my idea, but surprisingly Spencer to enjoy it).  What can I say?  I always love a classic chick-flick!

After "date night" we sat together on the couch, both of us on our laptops.  At the same time I was flipping through the channels on TV.  I stopped at the Oprah Winfrey Where Are They Now? show.  Seems like the only point of the show is for Oprah to do follow-up stories (as if she hasn't already been on TV for 25 years).  I was enjoying it for the most part, up until the last story which was about......to put it plainly..... adultery and violence.  Disgusted by the story, I somehow just couldn't get it off my mind.

I started asking questions to Spencer like, "do people have to be like psychologically crazy to do this kind of stuff?" (he studies psychology, and compared to him I know nothing about the peoples' brains and why they act the way they do). And then, "I just can't believe that someone would actually do that."  See, it's stories like these that make me not want to watch the news. Honestly, I just don't want to know about all that bad stuff.  I mean, how are we supposed to be in this world, without the bad things affecting us?? So then I said, "Babe, sometimes the world just scares me...."

I will openly admit one of my worst fears is that "my heart will fail me," just like it says in Luke 21:26.

Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.

-Luke 21:26

Now I'm not talking about the kind of heart failure that would cause a physical death.  I fear spiritual death more than anything.  I go to church, I read scriptures and pray, I pay my tithing, I feel that I'm a pretty decent person.  Despite all that,  I am fearful sometimes. I'm scared that my faith will fail me.  Does that even make sense??

Continuing on......

After a few minutes of silence, Spencer turned off the TV and asked if he could show me a video.  He said he had watched it yesterday in his New Testament class and thought it was really good.  Little did I know it would be just what I needed to hear.  It is a talk by President Benson speaking about the last days.  The video is 14 minutes long, but I highly recommend watching it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlNxBHOqeIc

Prophets of old actually saw our days and rejoiced (what??), yet we still face challenges that have been unparalleled by other generations.  That is a little daunting to think about.  It is not enough to be casual in our church membership.  We must also be guided by personal revelation so that we will not be deceived.  By keeping all the commandments, we will become valiant servants.  We will be able to live in the world, without taking part in all its sins.  I love President Benson's last statement:

"We have every confidence, that you, the rising generation, will not falter.  I repeat, you are valiant servants reserved for this exceptional time. Make the choice. Rise to the task of this momentous hour."

Such powerful words!  Of course, I was crying at the end of the video.  Spence said, "I know you get scared of the world sometimes.  It is a scary place.  But as long as we are doing what's right and standing in Holy Places, those last days will not be terrible to us.  We will be rejoicing."  This was a sweet moment for me as we both talked about this and shared our testimonies with each other.

How grateful I am for the words of the living prophets! They are here to guide us through the unique challenges of this time.  I still get scared sometimes when I watch the news, but I am choosing to have faith (and also choosing to not watch the news anymore haha).  I am choosing to be the best I can be, so that I will be among those who rejoice when Christ comes again.  I'm also grateful for a husband who reminds me of these things.  We can talk about the gospel together and it is so comforting.  Together, we get to figure out how to live in the world but not of it.  Of course, we aren't perfect at it.  But I think as long as we're trying, then we'll be alright.